Posted by crushedout on February 4, 2004, at 10:00:44
In reply to Re: ok, now it hurts, posted by EmmyS on February 4, 2004, at 9:51:19
hi emmy. that was good rambling.i've been having intense feelings for about a year now. i've been seeing her for two, and i think i started developing a crush within a few months, but it got super intense about a year ago. and she's known about it since at least august, when i made it explicit. i told her i had romantic feelings for her and she told me she found me very beautiful, which is when i started posting here because i wondered whether that was kosher. i never confronted her about that statement. but i digress.
so she's been aware of my intense feelings since august, about six months.
i kind of hate hearing that you got over it. i guess there's a part of me that doesn't want to get over it. and i don't want her to be happy with her husband. but i guess those are normal feelings at my stage.
how do you know your t's wife makes him smile when he walks by? he told you?
> How long have these intense, consuming, feelings been going on for you? And for how long has your T been aware? I know she has some idea since the CD exchange occured and the conversation which took place afterwards. I'm just trying to get some idea of where you are in the process....although I'm sure everyone is different.
>
> Also wondering if other people who have gone through this could give some idea of the duration of the real "owie" period of time. I would estimate my emotional turmoil last between 6-9 mths, with occasional brief bouts after that. I was a classic transference basket case. You could have written several entire textbooks on me. GG - we could collaborate and make some real money.
>
> Now, I just feel very close to him. I'm left with feelings of immense caring, gratitude, and respect. I'm oh so happy that he has a family he loves, and that his wife makes him smile when she walks by. His happiness makes me feel warm all over. But, it takes time, huge quanities of trust, and amazing moments of red-faced embarrassment.
>
> The unknown entity is that the T has to be up for the job in ability, experience, and ethics. You take the leap by disclosing your feelings and they are supposed to help you land on your feet.
>
> Enough rambling...
>
> Emmy
poster:crushedout
thread:309129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309251.html