Posted by Dr. Bob on December 4, 2010, at 2:06:41
In reply to Re: blocked, posted by muffled on December 3, 2010, at 13:29:43
> I feel it may be necessary sometimes to be able to express ourselves here regardless of whether or not it is an expression of an opinion that may not be liked by someone. As long as there is no intention to be malicious or put someone down, expressing such opinions in an articulate a reasonable way is a part of everyday constructive and productive conversation. I feel that this is what is missing here on Babble. There simply appears to be too much censorship. When there is too much censorship, there is little opportunity for cohesion and growth. A tightly controlled and overprotected community is a cold, distant, and stagnant community.
>
> MorganYour freedom of speech is limited here. It can be therapeutic to express yourself, but this isn't necessarily the place.
People can be hurt even when that's not intended.
Conversation here isn't necessarily like everyday conversation. The goal of everyday conversation isn't necessarily to support and educate.
When there's too much incivility, a community can be cold, distant, and stagnant, and there can be a loss of spontaneity, naturalness, expressiveness, and opportunity for cohesion and growth.
> How can we speak??? How can we have 'real' convos? MEATY ones?
Storms are meaty. But then people stay home.
> > To the extent that we try and protect ourselves, we cannot truly live; and to the extentet we truly live, we cannot place our highest value on protecting ourselves.
>
> muffledSo the question is how to balance protecting ourselves (and others) and "truly" living. I don't see it as either-or.
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> Those that been here any length of time, know that for whatever reason, controversy seems to crop up around her.
> In a way she is a good wake up call.
> if a poster is causing you a problem, then just try and kindly avoid them.Yes, how people treat someone they perceive to be different can be a good wake-up call. If it's an accepting, supportive community, the person will be, well, accepted and supported -- or kindly avoided. If it isn't, they'll be subjected to incivility. Has anybody here ever been perceived to be different?
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> I kinda wished bob would email posters, no names mentioned(like ME when i being bad), if they have ONGOING issues that keep causing trouble.
> Cuz sure as sh*t you can't do it here cuz then you'd be accused of being uncivil, and I don't like stuff btwn posters hidden in bmails.
> But see, here is another example that if the community was more stable and safer, then we could work on this stuff.> I am the one who calls the cops and follows impaired drivers, prepared to try and stop them if need be....
I wish more posters had friends like you who would try to stop them if they had ongoing issues that kept causing trouble. You can trust your friends to work on that stuff and not to accuse you of being uncivil.
> I have found the best ways to get closer(as close as I get w/anyone anyways...) is by making repair when we DO have a problem. THAT is how trust is built.
> here ... if we screw up, we blocked with no chance to make repair w/in a decent time frame.I don't block anyone instantaneously. They have an opportunity to make repair before they're blocked. And if that isn't enough time, they have another opportunity when they return.
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> Sometimes the truth bites :(
> But I want to know the truth.
> I been bitten by truth, then gone and licked my wounds, thot bout it, and then if the 'truth' has come from a person I respect, I will give it serious thot, and then....hopefully change my ways.> truth, respectfully submitted in order to try and help another make change...well, I agree, its a slippery slope....and yes, people will sometimes get hurt.....but then that is how there is change.
> But to get to that special place of trust, one might have to slog thru some mud.....that is life. Its not always pretty, but thru strife(or mud!?), we can grow if we wish.
The truth is, sometimes people are uncivil here. But despite the strife, they can grow if they wish, especially if they're supported in doing so.
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> I remember one time there was a particularly nasty post, that a poster was unable to tear herself away from, and she was obsessively reading it and hurting herself, and Bob would NOT remove it, tho I absolutely debased and begged.
> he simply won't act in the best interests of any one poster alot of times. He just sees globally.My responsibility is global. When a poster's hurting, it's the role of other posters to support and educate them.
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> me, I am faithful like a dog
> So, I wander back, ever hoping things might be different, that maybe I can connect again.
>
> muffledThanks for being faithful, and hopeful, and not giving up.
Bob
a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:970998
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/972382.html