Posted by coral on February 8, 2004, at 21:24:17
In reply to Marital Milestone, posted by Racer on February 8, 2004, at 20:33:08
Congrats, Racer,
That is a HUGE milestone!!!! My therapist and I were discussing anger recently, and he pointed out the big difference between hostility and aggression. In his concept, hostility is striking a blow (verbally) to hurt the other person, win the argument, prove you're right, etc., while aggression is being extremely firm to promote the health of the relationship. I'd never thought of it this way and find it a refreshing thought. He also said that healthy relationships thrive with the expression of uncontaminated anger aggressively. Took me awhile to get my head around that but it makes sense. (My anger is directed toward another family member but I found it applies w/my WH.) In fact, even more w/my WH because we both want the relationship strong and healthy. I used to bury my anger (prior to the depression), and he (WH) said, "I'd rather you be mad as hell at me and let me know than to hold it in and have it ooze out as anxiety." Now, with my family member who has no concept of building/strengthenibg a healthy relationship, the therapist's principle still holds true because I feel better and cleaner. Sorry for meandering.... really just wanted to congratulate you for the milestone!
Coral
poster:coral
thread:311056
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20031122/msgs/311064.html