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Re: CLARIFICATIONS

Posted by sunny10 on October 12, 2005, at 9:43:38

In reply to Re: I'm with AdaGrace » sunny10, posted by Susan47 on October 11, 2005, at 22:47:03

ok, I'll try to respond to all...

yes, part of me does believe that he says he's bisexual because
a) he wants the attention HIS way (he's been teased his whole life about being "gay"- mostly because he's emotional, not into sports, et cetera)- I think "bisexual" at least allows him to like girls even though everyone thinks he's gay.
b) I think he's at the age where he's attracted to people (male and female)because he perceives them to be better, stronger, better looking, smarter, et cetera... Kinda like a hero worship
c) the media makes sexual preferences an open topic! When we were kids, we had no idea what being gay WAS, much less claim to be it? There is some "celebrity status" to being gay or bisexual now, in the kids' eyes!

He DOES tell me everything, so I'm pretty secure in the knowledge that he has only ever kissed someone on the cheek- it was a boy and it was because of a dare!

Kids his age are ruthless....

What I meant by he's doing really well is that he is not becoming overly depressed over all of these changes like when he has suffered from depression in the past.

He DOES have somewhere to live- I said that they moved into my ex's parents house last weekend. He likes being in Grandma and Grandpa's house... as a matter of fact, the only thing that upset him was that HE didn't get to sleep in their bedroom- the master bedroom!

His father is and always will be on the warpath with someone. It is something that my son has come to accept with the help of his therapist.

Don't think for a second that I am uninvolved. Just because we don't live together doesn't mean that I don't know what's going on with him.

He has been so confused and depressed in the past(and suffers from ADHD), that he IS, comparitively speaking, doing REALLY well!!

I guess you would have to know all of the history to understand how I can say he's doing well at a time like this.

Just know that for him, a "time like is" is actually the norm... His father and I got divorced, he lived with both of us, then only with his father, then in a new apartment by the time he was with me and with his father again, then moved into a house with his father and father's new wife while he was still with both of us- splitting custody time, then my SO and I moved him while he was splitting custody time, then he went to live full time with his dad, then I moved again, then I moved again, then his dad and he had to move into his grandparents' house.

It's not a very secure past ANY of us have had. That is precisely why I would like his father to take the (really) well paying job down in Atlanta, which is actually something that he would LIKE to do AND be good at. So that my son could actually stay in one place for a while!!!

Yeesh, I know it's bad. Unfortunately, I've done the best that I can in the circumstances.

And I know that's been the best it can be, because my son calls me with both good news and bad. The farther apart we are, the closer we get!!

Don't worry so much!

(But I love the fact that you worry!!!! MMWWAAHH!!)


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poster:sunny10 thread:563598
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050910/msgs/566012.html