Posted by alexandra_k on June 6, 2005, at 2:53:32
In reply to Re: (((Alex))), posted by damos on June 6, 2005, at 1:59:05
> > I'm feeling much much much better today :-)
> Well I am very glad to hear it :-)
:-) me to.
> > I took yesterday off.
> Given that it was Sunday, that seems a fair thing to have done.
Yeeeeeeeees.
I very rarely have a whole day off.
> > Went round to my mates
> > Got high
> Never done that. Afraid it would push me over the edge or unleash something evil and horrible.
Hmm. I don't figure that part of me needs to be unleashed. Getting stoned actually mellows me out.
> > Went grocery shopping and got all sorts of necessities like chocolate and ice-cream
> Absolute necessities =0)
Absolutely! I discovered this really wicked brand of ice-cream. God bless America for Oreo cookies!!! Really. And this icecream is extra creamy and has big chunks of oreo-like cookies in it. Yum.
> > Got some new sneakers (my old ones were so worn down at the heel that they were leaking)
> Musta been the weekend for it, mine disintegrated too. Didn't get new ones though, hate shoe shopping
:-( Aw. I love shopping. Sort of... Shoes are fun. I wish I could come to Sydney, I'd drag you round the shoe shops :-)
> > Got high
> > :-)
> > And then I felt better.
> YAY!!!!!!!!
:-)
> > Wrote loads of meaningless drivel on my thesis
> > (which means I'm rediscovering an interest)
> Well that's gotta be good hasn't it????
Yup. Shame I wasn't productive but thats the cost of getting high...
> > And am diligently doing my marking today
> Ah yes diligence. Heard of it, never actually experienced it though :-)
Hmm. I am trying I am trying.
If another person tries to tell me that ideas are valid / invalid and arguments are true / false one more time..... The trouble with me is that I want to give helpful feedback which seems to involve my writing each person an essay in return. Thats why it takes me longer than everyone else. The other markers joke that it makes them look bad. But I have never had anybody query their mark because I told them what they would have needed to do to get a better one. I should write the 'standard comments' on a sheet and staple it though. It would save me the time of writing the same fr*gging speel on many different essays... Trouble is that you don't know you will be doing that the first time you offer the speel... What really pisses me off is when the students don't even bother to collect their assignment. Grr. Marking is every bit as XXX (insert the appropriate word here) as actually writing an assignment.
> > (But with lots of necessary Babble breaks)
> But of course.
> > But: I should try and remember this for next month.
> > Next time I start to lose it...
> > I should wonder if it is about that time.
> > Just knowing that might make it more manageable.
> > Like how its easier to cope with panic attacks etc if one remembers 'it is just the LSD I'll be ok in a bit'.
> It just might you know. It just might. I'll have to take your word for the LSD thing ;-)
Ok. Mushies are the same too :-)
> > So... Some serious repair relationship stuff is in order... Not just a card, because I'll never be able to figure out something decent to say.. I have an idea. I do.
> Sorry and thank you are surprisingly often enough.
Yeah. THough I think I've said them a fair few times already. Thats why it is time to move onto something else. Something that hopefully will alter my behaviour so I stop with the depreciatory comments etc. I have said sorry before then continued on my merry way so I don't think a sorry will be worth very much at this point.
> > The one t who I got on really well with was my DTB therapist for 8 months. I told her a little bit about the voices - but not much. I was scaired that they would think I was psychotic and that I'd get kicked out of DBT.
> DTB/DBT, sorry Alex I don't know these guys being a therapy/therapist free zone.
Whopsie. That should have read DBT both times (DTB was a typo). It is 'Dialectical Cognitive Behaviour Therapy' which is a varient of Cognitive Behaviour THerapy for peoples with a dx of Borderline Personality Disorder. But I'm cured of that now, aparantly ;-)
> > When she left she gave me this little wooden box. With a coloured bead, a little piece of crystal, a little piece of turquoise, and a little cone shaped shell inside. She said that it was a mindfulness exercise. I don't know how she meant it... But I kind of thought each bit was supposed to be one of the voices. A little bit of me. They sort of 'claimed' one each. But there was another one I never told her about. So I guess I'm the box, if that makes any sense.
> Yeah it does. That was a really nice thing for her to do. An explanation would have been nice but you seem to have worked it out.
Yeah. I think the 'real' explanation was that it was just a mindfulness exercise. But I read a little more into it... I took out the turquoise and asked her 'do you know what it is called?' And she looked at me very strangely. And said 'turquoise' and then I think the alternative explanation occured to the both of us about the same time.
She thought there were three voices and me. So there were four things.
But when she left I found Katie. The kid. So then there were five and now I guess I'll have to be the box.
> > Does that sound nice?????
> Yeah it does, it really does.
:-)
> I think whatever you do to mend the relationship will be appreciated. And that finding a way for you both to be 'there' when you're together is a good thing to try.
:-)
Give Sarah a hug.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:503517
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050513/msgs/508323.html