Posted by PM80 on May 9, 2005, at 14:59:56
In reply to Re: PM80, posted by sunny10 on May 9, 2005, at 10:09:32
This is a very thin line that you are walking. I hear your sentiments; I would say that I do understand them. I am sorry that you find yourself in such a bind. I guess one question I would ask is this: When you were abandoned, when you needed someone and they tossed you out, had you transgressed against them? Had you severely belittled them? Had you abused them? Because I would guess that while you were needy, you were NOT abusive- that you did not turn on them first and absolutely crush them because it felt good to you at the time. Therein lies one difference.
Also a thought: Why does being there for him mean that you must remain in a romantic relationship with him?Why does your being there for him mean that you must sacrifice yourself? You say that no one has ever been there for you. It sounds like this guy is not capable of being there when you need him either. Don't you think that you deserve someone that can truly care for you at all times? I think that you do. I think this is a part of setting healthy boundaries.
If this guy is not like you, but instead is a narcisist, then he will always be manipulating you - even if he sheds real tears sometimes, another day he will continue taking you for granted and doing just what he likes. I do not know if he is a narcisist, but I dated one and everything was always about him. He would always bring up old history in new arguments to make me feel bad; he would twist things so that I was at least as wrong as him in every argument. He would tease me about things he knew I was sensitive about, then tell me to quit overreacting. Any time that we spent together that was good, I would never want to end beacuse I never knew when we get to spend some nice time together again. If we hung out with my friends, he usually was pissed about something, whether it be something in the past or some comment I made with my friends or whatever(some of his reasons for being pissed were unbelievably stupid).
So please, think about yourself some here. You are a wonderful person and deserve to be with someone who thinks that they are lucky to have you. I wish the best for you.
poster:PM80
thread:494515
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050419/msgs/495617.html