Posted by beatrix34 on June 18, 2004, at 21:16:22
In reply to Re: Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again » 2ndXround, posted by chemist on June 18, 2004, at 3:53:55
Hi there -
I was so happy to see your post. I'm glad that you heard that this is not your fault. It is one of the most important things I had to learn when I decided to admit that I had a disease. You're right, it doesn't excuse any of the behavior that takes while a person is active in their addiction, but, for me, it made me more able to start the process of forgiving myself. I find that is the hardest thing to do.
I think you did the right and honest thing in calling the police. If that is what it took to end your marriage, iy's too bad (not a nice thing to have to go through at all)...but... when you get through this, you will be able to look back on it and say "I did what I needed to do to maintain my integrity". This is a huge thing. It was a brave thing to do and things seem to be on the right path since that happened. Although you may not see it now, know that the light is at the end of the tunnel waiting for you to get to the other side. You have started your journey by the sounds of it.
I know the feeling of walking into the NA rooms, it's a tough place to be when all you want to do is run away from all the guilt and aweful feelings that reel around. It's very brave of you to take that first step again. I know you did it once and you can do it again.
Please try and take care of yourself in the meantime...baths worked for me :)
I will check back on the board. I'm here pretty much daily :)
(((2ndXround)))
poster:beatrix34
thread:357711
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040604/msgs/357983.html