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Re: why am i so horrible?

Posted by alexandra_k on January 31, 2014, at 20:07:27

In reply to Re: why am i so horrible?, posted by Partlycloudy on January 31, 2014, at 6:44:11

i guess trig is only really useful for certain skilled professions... engineering, neurosurgery, land surveying, engineering etc... maybe handy for building things about the house... i don't know. i never learned any.

the us education system is fairly different from ours. much broader with math requirements on graduation. we are allowed to - if not actively encouraged to - specialize early. i think there are pros and cons with both systems... i actually think that the main reason ours is the way it is is more about economics more than anything else. us kids get more of an extended childhood.

i don't get how you are in the position to decide at 14 or 16 or even at 18 what it is that you want to do with the rest of your life. i don't think it is a good idea to cut off options...

if someone had sat me down and said 'math is required for science. if you stop math now / don't get caught up then you will have to come right back to where you are now down the track... or you will never be able to do science. it is cumulative like that' i think i would have been persuaded. if someone had said 'sure you want to be an english teacher NOW but do you really want to be an english teacher? How about all these other things you might be able to do... don't you want to at least leave options open for a while longer yet??'

actually... less than that... if my teachers had actually picked up that i didn't know my times tables (they did know that, actually) and, instead of taking great delight in the fact that i was struggling, actually, you know, teach me... then things probably never would have gotten to the point where they ended up with me.

i found plenty of opportunity to be creative. with creative writing in english, with art, with aspects of history narration... but i was channelled through the creative subjects and I didn't realize it was going to block off opportunity to study physics / chemistry until it was too late.

then realizing that medicine was ruled out because of that.

so feeling kinda stuck, really.

do you resent learning trig even though you don't use it? if you have kids... you are in the position to help and encourage them with their math homework... so that careers like that are more of an option for them... you don't really know if you are good at something / if you will come to like something unless you are exposed to it, and encouraged for a bit. my father said he resented being made to learn shakespeare because he wanted to be a builder... but years later he said he had learned to like such things now, and he still remembered a lot he learned in school about it, and was glad he was made to do it. just not so glad he wasn't really made to appreciate it. i did art history and thought it was a waste of time... but now... i remember my doric and ionic columns and i'm glad i did it.... seeing vases sometimes and being like 'oh hey! i know a little (really a very little) something about that!'.

i feel sad that... i have never really been encouraged by those whose job it was supposed to be to encourage me. i feel sad that they didn't try and give me to other people who might have been in better position to (e.g., get me externally tested, try and get me scholarships to study better places)... instead they just took great delight in holding me back and seeing me struggle.

i feel angry, actually, too.

i think it comes back to this tension... on the one hand, people want to believe that some are naturally talented or gifted or whatever. it justified their own apathy. it is like 'well, they succeed because they are gifted, i could never do that because i am not, so i don't need to give myself a hard time at all for not even trying or working at it even a little bit'. on the other hand people want to believe that those who excel work really very very very very hard. that they aren't naturally talented or gifted or anything like that. rather... they are deserving of their success because of how hard they work. we like to hear of how people really fought for their success against the odds. that athletes get up really crazy early to train etc etc etc. it isn't that they are ... just naturally or intrinsically better people.

there is this tension... and if you don't manage to regulate peoples emotions just so... then they will turn...

and i suspect it has really rather a lot to do with the people around you... i feel... envious? of the kids who get to go home to help out with the production of a home cooked meal being all like 'so mum, today in embryology the proff was saying and can you tell me more about what is up with......'

in the first day of physics the proff was like... if you have a jar and it weighs x and a fly and it weighs y... and you put the fly in a jar and the fly is buzzing about in the jar and you put the fly and the jar on the scales then does the scale weight register x or x+y

?

and he was like 'and go home and ask that to your parents folks!' and the point being... and then we can predict who is likely to do well / try hard / be motivated to succeed in their education...

 

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