Posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2005, at 21:31:26
In reply to Re: I am sooo sorry Dr. Bob... » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2005, at 21:14:52
>It's difficult to convey just how upset I am that people think of me that way: ie. wanting to get bad attention from Dr. Bob and wanting to make others feel guilty...these are the things I want to desperately *avoid* doing. JenStar, I would rather die than do those things...
I remember reading about BPD. About how there are a lot of characterisations of BPD out there along the lines of 'attention seeking' and 'manipulative'. I remembered thinking that I would rather die than be those things. I didn't think I was those things, but then I worried that maybe I was but I was in denial about it, and then I got really afraid that other people thought this of me and I got really afraid that it might be true and...
... That was no good to me whatsoever. It hurt me so very much. I withdrew from people because my biggest fear was that I was like that. That I was unacceptable and not fit for human company and that the biggest favour I could do for people was just to leave them the hell alone. So I withdrew from the world.. But then I was so very lonely.. It was such a horrible place to be.
I understand that.
I understand how much it hurts.Now... The trouble is making sense of it. Why do people characterise people with BPD in those terms?????
> > I'm so sorry I could die to prove this...tell me to die and I'll do it.
I think what strikes people here is *Why* on earth would someone post such a thing???
Are they trying to provoke a response?
Are they trying to get some attention?
Why on earth???And so people do wonder why someone would post such a thing. What were you hoping to achieve?
Because that is the way that people think about such posts.
Were you venting???
Were you trying to express just how bad you felt???
Now maybe I'm wrong...
But my guess would be that yes.
You were trying to express just how terrible you felt at the time of posting
And that is why you posted it.But other people don't really see it as an EXPRESSION of how you were feeling,
They wonder what you were trying to achieve in posting such a thing
They wonder what sort of response you were expecting from others.I don't know whether it occured to you to think about how other people would likely respond to that.
Maybe you were just expressing how you felt.
But you need to start looking at the effect that that sort of post has on other people too.Dr Bob couldn't respond to that, you know.
If he did then he would be reinforcing your making that sort of post
again
and again
and again...
Basically...
You can express how you feel.
Really.
But there are more or less appropriate ways of doing that.That wasn't so appropriate.
But there are other ways.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:505771
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050525/msgs/506056.html