Posted by Deneb on May 31, 2005, at 22:02:44
In reply to Re: I am sooo sorry Dr. Bob..., posted by alexandra_k on May 31, 2005, at 21:31:26
> So I withdrew from the world.. But then I was so very lonely.. It was such a horrible place to be.
>
> I understand that.
> I understand how much it hurts.You made it through :-) I'm so glad you did. It gives me great hope that you did that. :-)
> > > I'm so sorry I could die to prove this...tell me to die and I'll do it.
>
> I think what strikes people here is *Why* on earth would someone post such a thing???
> Are they trying to provoke a response?
> Are they trying to get some attention?
> Why on earth???Oh my gosh! Alexandra, can you believe that it NEVER ever occurred to me that people would think "Why on earth I would post such a thing?"??!!! I seriously didn't know people thought this! Wow, my thinking must be seriously flawed.
> And so people do wonder why someone would post such a thing. What were you hoping to achieve?
>
> Because that is the way that people think about such posts.
>
> Were you venting???
> Were you trying to express just how bad you felt???
> Now maybe I'm wrong...
> But my guess would be that yes.
> You were trying to express just how terrible you felt at the time of posting
> And that is why you posted it.Yes...I think you are 100% correct. I was trying to *express* myself. I just did not know *how* to express myself. I just don't.
> But other people don't really see it as an EXPRESSION of how you were feeling,
> They wonder what you were trying to achieve in posting such a thing
> They wonder what sort of response you were expecting from others.Alexandra, I cannot express just how useful this info is to me right now. This is a big light-bulb moment for me. I had no idea. I'm starting to understand, I think, maybe.
>
> I don't know whether it occured to you to think about how other people would likely respond to that.
> Maybe you were just expressing how you felt.
> But you need to start looking at the effect that that sort of post has on other people too.OMG ((((Alexandra)))), thank-you so much for explaining this to me. This is extremely useful information for me...I just never knew. I can't believe it never occurred to me that others thought that way...I'm just so stuck in my own mind. I won't forget this. Now, I just have the problem of *how* to express myself. I don't think I know how to express myself in ways that aren't so harmful to others. (I'm really sorry BTW for being harmful...I swear I did not think I was being harmful when I wrote that sentence...hard to believe, yes, but true).
> Dr Bob couldn't respond to that, you know.
> If he did then he would be reinforcing your making that sort of post
> again
> and again
> and again...Wow, you are so very smart Alexandra! I think I *get* it. :-) You're right!
>
> Basically...
> You can express how you feel.
> Really.
> But there are more or less appropriate ways of doing that.
>
> That wasn't so appropriate.
> But there are other ways.I gotta learn some other ways quick. :-)
jenny
poster:Deneb
thread:505771
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050525/msgs/506071.html