Posted by KaraS on February 25, 2005, at 16:52:54
In reply to Re: Kara, my turn. How you are doing? » KaraS, posted by TamaraJ on February 25, 2005, at 10:32:38
Hi,
> -- Thanks. The hardest thing to deal with is the apathy and the lack of motivation. It seems, for the first time in my life, I am content just to stay at home, listen to music, keep the house clean and the laundry done, take my dog for walks, talk to friends on the phone, But, to go out and really do stuff just leaves me feeling flat. I don't know how to explain it. I have never been like this before. It's unnerving. For a while, I thought it was fear, but it's not that, it's like a Blah feeling. Yuk! :-(
Yeah, the apathy sucks. I do envy your ability or motivation to keep your house clean though. Mine is a nightmare. Wish I had the energy to clean it. It's good that you have a lot of motivation to socialize on-line at least.
> -- Well, don't forget, you have a thyroid condition to contend with now. I would think that would have some kind of effect on how we metabolize and respond to medications. I don't know, but I seem to recall reading that some thyroid medications increase the effects of ADs, which might explain the start-up side effects you are experiencing now that you didn't before.
I had the thyroid condition when I started on Effexor the last time though. I probably need to have my level of thyroxin increased. Maybe that plays into it somehow.
> -- That's what is so interesting and nice about those types of techniques - they can serve multiple purposes. Nice to know that you could well have a technique that you can use to deal with other problems as well. I saw the thread on the Alternative board about tapping. I didn't join in, but I did try it last summer. It was an interesting concept, but really didn't do a thing for me - and I did it daily for a week or two. Oh well, I like trying alternative things, so I don't regret having pursued it.So you're way ahead of me on the tapping. I'm bummed it didn't work for you. Did you try the EFT or Lambrou's techniques? Lambrou has things you can do when it doesn't work to reverse your polarity and correcting polarity disorganization etc. I wonder if any of that really makes a difference.
> -- I, personally, don't care what I look like in the winter anymore (well, the hat-head I could do without), as long as I am warm! I am used to the cold now. But, that first walk in the morning with my dog on a cold day can be a drag and a bit hard to take sometimes. Once I am out there and moving I don't notice the cold as much.
The cold can be invigorating. Also good psychologically to think that you've mastered the elements.
> -- Not much stops him! He did his first (and only) triathalon when he was about 60. He even had to learn to swim in order to do it. He finished it, even though he was the last one out of the water! Actually, the big joke is that he wasn't the last one out the water because his swimming coach (a friend of his) swam with him and he actually got out of the water last!A triathalon at 60? He really is something! Wish I had one tenth of his moxie.
> -- I have used Xanax for extended periods of time. When I first started getting sick, it was extremely busy at work (it's always busy, but we were going through a really caotic time for months and months) and I wasn't on an AD at the time, so I used my Xanax every morning before I left for work for a number of weeks (taking a break on the weekends though). I was worried that I would develop a dependence, but I didn't have a problem stopping (and I am a recovering alcoholic). I think that not using it on Saturdays and Sundays may have helped.
You were lucky. I took Ativan for 2-3 weeks - only a little bit at night to help me sleep. Then I went off it for 2-3 weeks and then I went back on it for 2-3 weeks. When I stopped it at that point all hell broke loose. My pdoc said that my body "remembered the Ativan" during the break I took from it. So I've been a bit afraid of using benzos ever since. I will probably have to use it for the move as well as for getting onto Zoloft and then spend a year trying to get off of it.
> -- Moving is a huge stresser! And, you are right, it is not the type of thing you want to deal with when you're experiencing overwhelming anxiety already. It's nice though that you have a friend you feel comfortable enough to share a house with. It's nice, too, to have another person around. I don't know, but it can be somewhat comforting. It will probably turn out to be a good thing in the long run. My younger brother lived with me for a year while he was saving up a down payment for a house. It was nice having him here (well, most of time :-)). That's a shame about having to sell your furniture though. I know it's hard to part with our things. I am not a materialistic person, but our "things" became a part of us and our lives in a way. Since you already know you will be moving in a couple of months, you can take your time packing - a litte bit each day, so as not to put to much stress on yourself. When I moved a couple of years ago, I did a little bit each day. Took my time, decided what I could or was willing to part with (you know, those sentimental things that we hang to for years, but take up space) and found it less stressful than previous moves.Yeah, I think that it will probably be a good thing for me to have someone else around now. She is a good loyal friend - a bit obnoxious and hard to take at times - but her heart is good. The reduction in my expenses will be good for me as well. The downside is that it will be her house and her furniture and her rules. Also she has terrible taste. Her apartment is so dark and cluttered. You wouldn't believe how ugly it is! (meow...) It will be interesting to see how all of our animals get along (to say the least). She has 3 cats and a parrot and I have 2 cats. (One of her cats and the parrot are quite nasty so I'm a bit concerned about that as well.) On the plus side, she is the one who did the reiki healing. I've been using my light box daily and I don't feel as good as after she did that healing on me. It might have been a coincidence. It's so hard for me to believe in that stuff. Unfortunately what ever it was only lasted two days. I haven't felt as good since.
I'm not so much concerned with parting with my furniture because I don't have much that's nice. I'd like to keep my couches but that's about it. I'm more concerned with how to sell the stuff. I'm too afraid to put an ad in somewhere and have strangers in LA coming into my place. It's just too dangerous. I guess there's a thrift shop kind of a place that I can call and they would come over and offer you some money for the stuff and then cart it away. That's probably my best bet - if they even want the stuff. I would hardly make any money that way though. I don't know. There's one end table that's probably worth something so maybe I should take that elsewhere. I don't know. How do people do this?
> -- I wonder if a some chromium in the morning and before bed might help combat the sugar cravings? It might be worth a shot. I have found my cravings for sweets have diminished since using chromium. This from a person who has considered peanut M & Ms and Orville's movie theatre microwave popcorn a balanced dinner!
I have some chromium here. I'll try adding it in to my regimen again. It's the GTF version though - I think other versions are better but I'll finish this one for now.
> -- That's a good idea about seeing if you can find a therapist through the free clinic. Therapy is so expensive. If you do pursue it, I hope you can find a therapist who compares to the one you had in college. The connection and the bond I imagine is so important to the success of the therapy. I doubt I would be considering therapy if my insurance didn't cover 80% of the cost. I find, too, that babble has helped me quite a bit, even just by reading posts and the responses to the posts. But, I agree, finding an IRL support group would be nice.Babble is great for information and for support. I've learned a lot about meds and supplements as well as receiving support. Previously I didn't have anyone in my life who understood or could relate to what I've been going through so I didn't talk much to anyone about it. My family was the opposite of helpful for most of this time. They saw me as lazy. They just didn't get it. I moved across country partly to get away from them. Ironically, now my mother is going through this. One day she said to me "Now I understand." You can't imagine how gratifying that was (even though I would never have wished this on her). She is finally responding to Effexor though so now she thinks that my problem is that I haven't given these medications enough time. I told her that I was on Effexor for several years but it still doesn't get through to her. GRRRR. She keeps thinking that if I just go to see a doctor more often that I'd get better. I have told her that I know what all of my options are at this point but that doesn't change her mind. So frustrating! (Sorry for the rant.) Overall though I have to say that my family is much more supportive now which is a blessing.
> -- Yes, books can be a comfort. I love it when I find a good book and I just can't put it down. I'm like my mom - I'll lose myself in a book (even if it is just a silly or trashy novel to some) and I just spend an entire day reading and and reading and reading until I finish the book. That's a drag about the Braverman book. Hopefully the Tolle book will be better upon first glance.
Yeah, even if a book is just escapism, it's helpful. I have a hard time starting fiction but once I do, I usually can't put it down. Most of the time these days though I'm more interested in reading something that's going to help me out of this rut I'm in.
> -- She was probably in her late 50s or even early 60s. She is a recovering alcoholic (she told me when I first started seeing her because I was in the early stages of recovery). But, she would have almost 30 years of sobriety (if I am remembering right), so I don't think she fell off the wagon. When I think back to my last appointment with her, I have to say now that she seemed quite distracted and not quite herself. She's a fighter, so I am sure she will be ok. It's just a shame that the medical community is losing one of the good ones.
That's way too young to have a serious health problem. I have a feeling that if the problem were alcohol related that she wouldn't close her practice for good - just temporarily. That's too bad for her and for all of the people in the community who will miss out on a wonderful doctor.
Speaking of doctors, when do you meet with that healer doctor? Should be soon, right?
Kara
poster:KaraS
thread:456548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050224/msgs/463314.html