Posted by TamaraJ on February 24, 2005, at 21:14:04
In reply to Re: Kara, my turn. How you are doing? » TamaraJ, posted by KaraS on February 24, 2005, at 15:25:55
> Hi,
>
> Yeah, we just have to keep telling ourselves that this is how recovery is. It's not neat and perfect. You have your good days and your not so good days. Still, it's hard to take when you've just come off of two really good days. I am better today again because I didn't take any Zoloft last night. I'm not as anxious and dysfunctional now.
>
-- No, it certainly isn't neat and perfect. And, when we have a few good days, we really get our hopes up that maybe this is it, only to have them dashed until our next few good days. But, a few good days can lead to more, so that is something to keep us going. I think what's hard to swallow (for me at least) is that some respond so well during a first depressive episode to the first AD they are put on. And then when they need an AD again, it can result in trial after trial. I am really hoping that the Celexa/Provigil (and, maybe some NADH) will work for me. You know, I was thinking about the Zoloft, and do you think it might be a dopamine thing? I have read here a number of times that Zoloft has the most effect on dopamine of all the SSRIs (then again, that may only be at the higher doses. But, given your sensitivity . . . ). Anyway, I just thought I would put that out there FWIW.> Last night I started practicing it a bit. I was trying to get familiar with the exercises rather than doing the exact sequences prescribed for anxiety. The first time I did some practicing I didn't really feel much but last night I definitely felt calmer and better. That gives me the impetus to pursue this further. I'll definitely keep you posted.
-- That's encouraging! Feeling some relief after one trial is incentive to continue and perfect your technique. I can't wait to hear how it progresses. Good luck. I'll keep my fingers that you continue to see positive results and relief.
>
> I grew up in upstate New York and up until the last 5 years I have lived in cold weather climates. I never got used to it. In fact, it got worse in the last few years. That's because of my hypothryoid problems though. Still, I'd prefer a nice 30 degree day with sunshine and no wind to this horrible rain we've been having. Today is sunny here. Yay!!! (So what am I doing inside on-line with my lightbox on?)-- I have noticed that, as I get older, the cold seems to affect me more. I remember when I was in my teens and early to mid-20s, going out in the winter with a light coat (sometimes just a jean jacket and maybe a scarf), shoes (no boots) and no hat, and it didn't seem to be a big deal. Now, I wouldn't go out without my hat, scarf and mitts and my down-filled coat. I'm glad it was sunny where you are today. Sure makes a difference doesn't it. It was sunny here as well, but it was still -17 with the wind. But, the sun made a big difference.
>
> Your dad is such a character!! I can't believe anyone could ski in -60 degree weather and while moving up the ski lift?????-- Oh, he can be relentless at times! After that, he got himself a gortex face mask to wear on the really cold days. But, he doesn't go skiing when it is as cold as it was that day anymore (probably because he can't convince anyone to go with him! :-))
> My doctor already prescribed Xanax for me. I have it here. I've only taken one half of a pill so far. It helped me sleep one night. I think you're right that I may need to take benzos for a while so I can get on the Zoloft. I think I'm going to try increasing the doxepin by a quarter of a pill every few days. That might help me do it without benzos. We'll see. Remeron isn't completely off of the table either but I am afraid of the weight gain. I'm also considering clomipramine at least temporarily.
-- At least you have Xanax if you really feel you need to take it. I have used Xanax, when needed only, for a number of years, and have never had to increase the small dose I was prescribed and use. What I like about it is that when the anxiety becomes so unbearable and it's interferring with my functionning and thiniking, I can take 1/2 a Xanax for a few days in a row and then I am better able to cope for days and days. I think just having a few days anxiety-free can make a difference. The Remeron weight gain I guess can be a real problem for some. A friend of mine took Remeron for quite a while, but she finally stopped because she so sleepy (even though she took it at night) and had gained a lot of weight. Yet, some people seem to experience increased energy and don't seem to gain at all. You might like the Clomipramine. I think it might have been a good AD for me if I had been able to get to a therapeutic dose. But, I was so dizzy and lightheaded all the time (and, I had dizziness and lightheadedness before taking it). I would even experience dizziness when I was standing doing the dishes and stuff like that. It was unpleasant and scary at times for me.
>
> Exactly right! We feel we have to be perfect but we cut others lots of slack. I read that that attitude is the ultimate in arrogance because on some level we feel we have to be better than everyone else. I am just beginning to forgive myself. I have a long way to go to be truly accepting of myself.-- It takes time and practice I guess. We'll both get there I am sure.
>
> You didn't know. You thought that pushing yourself was the way to go. Now you know better and you're taking the appropriate action. You've been through a lot lately. It takes its toll. It's good that you're giving yourself the time to heal and working on your issues.-- I think I might start seeing a T to help me work on my issues. I don't know, I have been thinking about it, and maybe it might be worth pursuing. A friend of mine told me today that she has decided to see a T. She said she owes it to herself to get some help dealing with her issues. That is a big step for her. So, if she can do it, then perhaps I can to.
>
> Do you think this book you're reading now is helpful? Would you recommend it? I don't know much about the Eckhart Tolle book other than the fact that many people I know have raved about it. I'm very curious. Can't wait to pick it up later today along with the Dr. Braverman book mentioned in the CES thread.-- I think the book will be helpful. The author is an American Buddhist nun, and her writing is based on traditional Buddhist wisdom and drawn from her teachings and lectures. Some of it (at least what I have read so far) is obvious (like walk towards your fears, moving toward painful situations, etc.), but it is interesting because of the personal antecdotes. I hope your books are interesting and helpful. It's nice coming here and getting recommendations for great books or hearing others' reviews on books. Helps making choices easier and less of a shot in the dark.
> Unfortunately people can have serious conditions and you wouldn't know by looking at them. Has she closed her practice forever or is she just taking a break with the possibility of coming back? I'm sure she'd appreciate the card. That's very sweet of you.
-- She has closed the practice completely and, it would appear, forever, so she must be really sick.
All the best to you Kara,
Tamara
poster:TamaraJ
thread:456548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050224/msgs/462957.html