Posted by jujube on February 15, 2005, at 1:21:22
In reply to Re: Jujube, how are you doing?, posted by KaraS on February 14, 2005, at 21:03:07
> > I haven't had major problems with anxiety in many years (probably because I was taking either a low dose of a TCA and/or was on an SSRI) and so even I had forgotten how debilitating it can be. If someone like me who has suffered with it can forget how awful it is, then how can those who've never suffered with it be able to understand? Your description of your father's panic attacks is a riot. Maybe his were more drama than real panic? I just don't understand either how anyone can easily put it behind them and move on.
-- I was the same as you. I was on a SSRI that worked well for me, as well as a small amount of Xanax when needed, for so many years that the devastating anxiety I had lived with for so long was pretty much a distant memory. Social situations, etc., would still be
anxiety-provoking, but nothing like they had been before I started taking something. As for my father, I shouldn't laugh, but it really could be quite funny at times to witness the theatrics. I think it was a combination of drama and panic/anxiety (my mom told me that for a number of years she had to drive him to the hospital emergency because he was hyperventilating and was convinced he was having a heart attack). Sometimes we wonder if he isn't bipolar because of his extreme mood swings that could, and still do, occur without provocation. Boy, when he went into one of his rages, you ran for cover. But, he's not such a bad guy. He's just a typical type A I guess.
> > Yes, being able to function now is half the battle. Hopefully adding something else (medication or SJW) will help with the rest.
-- Absolutely.
> > My fingers are crossed for you. Hope it works out. A lot of people on the main board seem to like it a lot.
-- Thanks. I hope it works out too. I have read and re-read posts from the main board on Provigil and am comfortable with having pushed for a trial. I also read peoples' experiences at RemedyFind, and what I read there was encouraging as well.
> > So you have definitely been in the same boat I've been in. Not fun. I'm eating pretty normally right now and sleep is good as well. (In fact getting out of bed is the hard part now.) Hope that you're eating and sleeping regularly too.
-- For sure. It can be a real pain. Even when I am well, something can set me off and turn my stomach and I will lose my appetite for a couple of days. But, each day, I am eating more regular meals, so I am glad. As for sleep, it's getting there. I am glad to hear that things continue to improve for you in those areas.
> > Why is it that we're so much harder on ourselves than we would be on others? Our perfectionism perhaps? Anyway, I'm sure you apologized for the post that concerns you and the recipient probably bears no ill will either. I do think that it is possible to find that delicate balance of being tough when you need to be and yet retain your sensitivity and empathy with others. It's very hard to locate that balance however - but I'm working on it.
-- It's just human nature I guess. I know that ever since I was a kid, I have been terrified of making a mistake, saying something that might result in a confrontation or upset or hurt someone or disappointing or letting people down. I can remember 3 times (including the regretful post here) where I said something quite nasty to someone, and I have a hard time forgiving myself when I do it (2 of the times were like 8 and 10 years ago and, believe it or not, I still think about what I said and how awful I was, and how I wish I could just take it back). That's not to say that I am never b*tchy or moody. Anyway, I have made progress over the years to not be so hard on myself. I am sure you will achieve the right balance for you in good time. But you know, as crass as this sounds, I think some people are perhaps just born with an abundance of the "f*ck 'em if they can't take a joke" gene and a deficiency in the "give a sh*it" factor. Again, a blessing and a curse, depending on how you look at it.
> > Same to you and definitely let me know how the Provigil works out. (If not, there's always that special doctor you're seeing in March. :-))
-- I will. And, let me know what you decide in terms of an AD.
Best wishes to you and take care.
Tamara
poster:jujube
thread:456548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050205/msgs/458006.html