Posted by 64Bowtie on March 28, 2004, at 19:42:13
In reply to Re: To clarify, posted by gardenergirl on March 28, 2004, at 14:36:15
GG,
Willingness and acceptance are not innate traits that come with birth. However, advanced abilities of thinking do nurture them once a person reaches adulthood, if and only if uncluttered by dysfunction. The rest must do many years of hard work in order to end run Their many layers of multi-generational dysfunction.
So, "A" will continue to act out from her feelings until she learns the hard way that such acting out causes more troubles for adults than they solve. She sounds like she has a big dose of obligatory thinking also. If so, she will remain compelled to act out until she frees herself from the family enmeshment that ties her to the obligatory thinking.
For those of us who are interested in the tell-tail signs of this common malady, Grumbling and Judgemental rhetoric are always present. Also, nothing is good enough and final decisions must be perfect in an absolute sense to really be final. In addition, conflicts are earmarked with coercion: "You sit down and shut up before I beat you...." (language you hear more often in public these days than years past)
"A" had best work through this. She owes it to clients and career, both.
Rod
poster:64Bowtie
thread:329117
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/329584.html