Posted by octopusprime on March 28, 2004, at 12:17:46
In reply to To clarify, posted by gardenergirl on March 28, 2004, at 2:32:23
whew, i'm glad i didn't offend you. i knew i was stepping into a minefield!
but there are lots of interesting statements in your replies. here's one:
> So, in some ways, any psychologist who gets one of her clients later may have to do some damage control or extra work to prove that they are reliable. This drives me nuts.
ok, i work with computers, not people. however, when i am at work, i try not to let my coworker's job performance (or lack thereof) affect me, especially when we are not on the same team.
for example, i have one coworker with some bad work habits. the same coworker thinks my suggestions for changing work habits mean a lot of unnecessary work (though 5 other coworkers have implemented the same suggestions and thought it was a huge improvement).
so all i can do now is just keep my eyes on my own paper, and not worry about what he's doing. i can't change other people, unless they want to change.
here's another interesting statement:
> But throughout this drama, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something unconscious I was saying or doing that was making the workplace hostile for A. This junk has really caused my self-confidence in interacting with her to waver.
so because her behaviour was less than stellar, it must be something you did?
is this a pattern when things go wrong with others? do you often blame yourself?
i'm curious how long you have known this lady. i am guessing not long? (maybe 3-6 months?) sometimes it takes that long for a person to start leaving their best behaviour at home.
i think you are right to be wary when interacting with a person who has demonstrated that her reactions may be out of proportion to the situation at hand. but i don't think it's necessary to blame yourself, blame white oppression, or blame anything else.
dinah's right when she interpreted my statements as anybody can be paranoid. and she's also right about the pervasiveness of racism. but i don't think that means that you need to walk on eggshells around black people for fear of subconscious racism.
poster:octopusprime
thread:329117
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/329456.html