Posted by yabba on October 2, 2003, at 21:06:51
In reply to Re: Please help me understand my husband, posted by stjames on October 2, 2003, at 19:49:25
> It might help to think of depression as someone who has really bad vision without glasses & has now lost their glasses. Everything now looks different. Nothing feels, looks, or smells the same. The change
> is dramatic. Thinking and reasoning are very changed while depressed.
>
> Your partner has all the classic signs of depression. The hard part is there is nothing you
> can do or say that will change this. He is not going to get better till he wants to seek help himself.That sounds right.. I'm just now coming out of a depression after a year and a half or so and when I think back to some of the stuff I thought and did during that time it seems like I was living in a different world. I saw demons where there were normal people (My life is a lot less stressful now and of course I have my dogs too which were probobly big in changing my perspective). What caused the depression was a girl that I had become overly infatuated with who was actually offering me what I wanted but I was too paranoid to see that. I read her signs totally wrong and so I reacted to them totally wrong. So this caused me to go into depression and I started to hate her even though she had done nothing to deserve it and I've felt really stupid about the situation looking back on it.
Anyway, it sounds like you inadvertantly (possibly/probobly of no fault of your own) caused some of his deep rooted fears to flare up and now he's gone into a depressed state and isn't thinking straight about the situation. I'll give a TENTATIVE guess here; It sounds like he didn't have a hand in planning the house/finances and maybe he'd like to have more of a hand in those things. He may feel like a hapless bill payer. It seems like he's trying to take some control over things by changing passwords etc. If this is true, maybe you should talk to him about spending money on something he wants and see how he reacts to that.
poster:yabba
thread:264954
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/265078.html