Posted by mair on November 7, 2001, at 12:26:37
In reply to Re: Unhappy spouse, posted by tina on November 7, 2001, at 9:33:14
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>Gracie - I have gone through periods when I've worried alot about the effect my depression has on my family, and in particular on my marriage. When my husband seems distant or withdrawn i nearly always decide that he's sick of putting up with me and my problems. My therapist's big issue has been that while my depression may have an effect on my family, the impact is not anywhere near as great as I think it is, and that my depression colors my thinking about what's going on with my husband. When I'm not so depressed, for instance, I might attribute his distance to some preoccupation that has nothing to do with me. I don't always buy into this (it's tough to break those self-blame patterns of thinking) but I do think there's a grain of truth there, and it's possible that you're distorting how much you have to do with your husband's unhappiness. My husband is not the marriage counselling type, but he did attend a session once with me, where my therapist had him speak to my influence on him and the kids. I helped some and maybe your H would do something like that.Mair
poster:mair
thread:13594
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13613.html