Posted by Greg A. on November 7, 2001, at 0:01:24
In reply to Unhappy spouse, posted by Gracie2 on November 6, 2001, at 18:27:51
Hey Gracie,
Y'know - I think us mentally ill people are too hard on ourselves about how we affect others. We worry about the times when we are too tired to do anything, too anxious to be social, or too depressed to make a decision. But we are very conscious of other people's feelings, in fact too much so. We are very tolerant of the problems that other people have because we know all too well how our brains can malfunction. So we're not half bad really.
We are not unique in facing marital and relationship problems in our lives. Look how many 'normal' marriages break up.
For me, the mid life crisis thing happens to coincide with a period when I am really struggling to stay on top of my illness. I question all parts of my life in terms of whether they are good for me or not. Drinking, job, wife . . . I too wonder what life would be like without my partner of 20+ years. I certainly don't know the answer to that one. I guess I am a typical middle aged male. I look at my wife like I look at cars. The newer, more sporty models are really attractive to me, but I am unsure whether i can afford them or would quite enjoy them as much as i think I would. I suspect they are much higher maintenance than I would be comfortable with.
Sorry Gracie - just rambling on - but please don't try to 'become the person that he wants.' If he's anything like me, he has no idea what he wants.Greg
poster:Greg A.
thread:13594
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13605.html