Posted by Cecilia on April 11, 2001, at 4:17:12
In reply to Re: Feeling safe in hospital, posted by Ignatz on April 10, 2001, at 8:47:11
> I have been hospitalized briefly three times for depression, and I felt much safer in the hospital. My depressions have been sudden, severe, and, blessedly, short. I can't function at all when I'm depressed, don't trust myself not to hurt myself, and don't want to be a burden on my friends. The two hospitals I have been in were good. The staff were patient and the group activities didn't bother me. Most of all, it was a vast relief to feel safe, and to be around other people who seemed to understand how I was feeling. (People with depression made up the vast majority of the patients when I've been in. There's a locked ward which I hear is louder and scarier-- the ward I've been on, you could leave with a staff member or, after awhile, with another patient.) I think that anxiety is a big component of my depressions, and that anxiety has subsided when I go into the hospital. Sometimes I wonder,in fact, if I've gotten *too* dependent on hospitals (and my relatively good insurance right now).
I`m glad you had good experiences in the hospital. I`m sorry, I realize my post was rather non-supportive. I think I`ve been terrified of ending up in a "mental hospital" since I was a teenager because I was so excruciatingly shy I felt there was no possible way I could ever work or live on my own. Of course nowadays people who can`t support themselves usually live on the street, not in hospitals, but this was a long time ago (I`m 51). Anyway I decided that even if I could never be normal, if I could at least manage to cover up my depression and fears enough to play the role of someone who could take care of herself I could survive. By now I don`t think there`s any one left under the mask. Even when I got brave enough (at age 40) to try therapy I was basically just playing the role of someone brave enough to do therapy and after 7 years my therapist gave up on me.
poster:Cecilia
thread:5489
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010404/msgs/5613.html