Posted by mair on April 5, 2001, at 20:37:09
In reply to Re: I'm sorry-Noa and others, posted by ChrisK on April 5, 2001, at 5:39:25
>Willow and ChrisK - thanks to both of you for your responses. Under the best of circumstances I don't seek the help of others very well; when I get really depressed I become extremely disinclined to seek help. I think that's what bothered my pdoc and therapist the most.
The whole hospital issue has receded into the background, at least for now. When it was a more immediate issue, I was struck by the fact that even though I lobbied heavily against it, and tried rather desparately to figure out ways I could mask my condition well enough to get my therapist off my back about this, I still felt on some level that I really couldn't handle much and needed to stop deteriorating. I eventually started coming up with some other alternatives, like just getting away by myself for awhile. It at least made me feel like I had some options.
Chris - I'm curious as to how long your stays were. I've tried to reassure several people on this board at different times that our worst depressive feelings are temporary no matter how permanent they seem to be. I just was unable to tap into that advice this time around. I just felt so tired, that I didn't think I had it in me to fight this. I think that's why the hospital seemed pointless. If they're not going to change my meds, what can they do that's going to make me feel differently?
Thanks again.
Mair (ksvt)
poster:mair
thread:5489
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010404/msgs/5510.html