Posted by mila on April 5, 2001, at 23:19:33
In reply to Re: I'm sorry-Noa and others - Willow and ChrisK, posted by mair on April 5, 2001, at 20:37:09
dear mair,
I am glad to hear that you are feeling somewhat better. that is sooo good to know. I hurt so much when I read your first post in this thread, I cried and was unable to write anything in response.
to me the major gain from the hospital stay was not the change in medication, which BTW didn't happen in my case, but a total surrender. I'd reached the bottom of my 'weakness' so to speak, and acted it out. I let others to take care of me. This was a beginnig of the real healing for me. It somehow made my depression fully real. Being in the hospital made the experience of depression fully real. no longer I was 'just' realizing that I was depressed, or telling about it to others, I fully let the depression take over me. It seems that before that I thought that depression was something that i 'had', stay in the hospital was an experience of depression 'having me', or being me. funny to say that, but it had been a truly liberating event.
thank you mair,
you are so beautiful.
mila
poster:mila
thread:5489
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010404/msgs/5511.html