Posted by coral on October 14, 2000, at 9:06:35
In reply to Re: Friends, posted by stjames on October 14, 2000, at 2:07:58
A technique as old as "finishing school" and cotillions is when someone says something with which you disagree or you're being baited, you simply say, "Oh, that's an interesting thought," and smile placidly. That will normally stop any well-mannered person cold. However, if the person persists, by saying, "What do you think?", respond with "There are many aspects to it. Which do you consider most important?" The GAME is to complete each of your answeres with a neutral question. For the really persistent, the line my mother always used was "This could be a volatile topic which could cause discomfort. My mother always told me that no one with an ounce of class would ever say anything to cause someone discomfort." It's a perfect game, set, match. If they persue it further, they're admitting to not having an ounce of class (at least in your mother's eyes) and you can defer by saying "I've always found my mother's advice in this area invaluable."
Now, on the other hand, if it's important to you to make sure your "friends" know how you feel or to convince them to feel otherwise, please consider examining your own motives.
Besides, this doesn't sound like a "fun" group of people anyway. It's your birthday so assert yourself. You value truth and I presume honesty so you might consider telling your friends that you'd LOVE to have a wonderful time with them and to help you do that, certain topics are off-limits.
Good luck and happy birthday!!!!
poster:coral
thread:1011
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1053.html