Posted by Cass on October 12, 2000, at 18:40:31
I have a group birthday celebration coming up with two other friends. Lately, I've been feeling like the outcast of the group because I speak my mind about issues like child abuse. I'm usually not even the one who brings it up, but then when I defend victimzed kids, they say, "grow up!!!" Sometimes I feel that it's a set up. They broach the topic hoping that this one time I'll just conform to thier standards of denial and ignorance, but I never do it, so I never pass their test and would never want to. There are other issues too. Authority is a big one. To me, authority is based on character, ethics, honesty, compassion and fairness. To them it is based on societies preconcieved ideas about authority figures, i.e. they are always right and should not be questioned: You cannot question the majority opinion; they are assumed to be right (I point out the Holocaust, and they roll their eyes), elderly people are always right no matter how cruel and demeaning they are. It is taken for granted that people in high status positions have done a great deal of good, when in fact, I've seen situations where they did lifetimes of damage and injustice. So I'm sure they see me as sort of a bad apple. This is not uncommon since respect for the truth in this society makes you a radical and a reject. Another issue is that I have the courage of my convictions, and they don't. I think this threatens them and makes them feel uncomfortable, so they put me down. I'm dreading this get together. These friendships have lost their value, but it just scares me to be so lonely and alone. You ask how we all became friends? We all met in college. We all shared liberal ideas. However, the crux of the conflict arose when it bacame clear that I actually had strong convictions that I was willing to act upon, and they didn't. To them it was all talk, no action. This is the source of all the conflict, IMO. With the slightest bit of social pressure, they back down from their convictions. I don't. I speak up. Then they say, "How can you think you are right when so many people disagree with you?" They are conformists. I am not. I have to be true to myself by defending victims and pointing out social injustice. If I backed down from these convictions, I'm sure I would have no reason to live. I would have betrayed myself. Can I have some feedback?
poster:Cass
thread:1011
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1011.html