Posted by Lisa Simpson on October 13, 2000, at 5:36:59
In reply to Re: Friends and Differences, posted by Cass on October 13, 2000, at 0:52:05
Hi Cass. PMFI, but I've got to say that they don't sound like very good friends to me, and they seem to acting pretty strangely in what is after all supposed to be a friendly, chatty, all-girls-together situation. Have you ever thought that perhaps they were actually jealous of you and your individualistic way of thinking? Think about that.
Anyway, perhaps next time they bring up a subject that you don't want to talk about, you could try to turn the subject round into something else. For instance, if they start off by saying something like (caution: very silly example coming) "So, Cass, what's your opinion on children in the UK being stuffed up chimneys before the age of 5", you could reply along the lines of "Talking of children, did you see that program the other night, about kids learning how to create their own web sites in primary school? Well, I wish I could have done that when I was at school instead of learning how to cook flat souffles ...." etc etc.
Shar is absolutely right in what she says about people always having differences, and if you can agree to agree on most things and avoid the "hot spots", then things should roll along OK. For instance, my other half has what I would consider a mind-blowingly boring job, which I couldn't stand if I did it day to day (although he seems to like it well enough!), and when he comes home at night he wants to talk about problems he's had. So I listen, nod encouragingly, ask a couple of questions, as I go about making his dinner, and he gets it off his chest, feels better, and feels that I take an interest in him. I don't say what is really on my mind, which is "God that's so uninteresting, please go and bore someone else about it." And of course the reverse hold true. I work in computers, and in my heyday as a super PC support person, I would come home and say "guess what weird problem I solved today all on my own, clever me?", and my other half, who hates computers with a vengeance, and wouldn't piss on one if it was on fire, doesn't tell me he can't understand barely one word in five of what I'm talking about so why don't I shut up... he sits and listens... well, half-listens at any rate. I can tell by the expression on his face that he's thinking "oh please will she shut up soon", but the point is he never says it, and I can pretend he thinks I'm really clever too!
You don't need friends who just want to sit there and play "let's see what takes to wind Cass up today". You either just let it all roll over you, ignore it and start something else, or go out with some new friends (easier said that done, I know, but worth a try?)
Anyhow, you've obviously got lots of virtual friends here who do appreciate you!
Lots luck.
Lisa
poster:Lisa Simpson
thread:1011
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1020.html