Posted by Quintal on September 27, 2007, at 16:20:05
In reply to emotional abusers + victims, how do you know?, posted by Clari on September 15, 2007, at 2:07:42
There are serial abusers, and there are also serial victims, and people who have no history of either sometimes fall into the hands of an abuser. I guess they're the real victims then? I don't know. Human relationships don't take place in a vacuum, so it's hard to get clear-cut distinctions like this. I guess there's a tendency for people to retaliate to provocation, and this provocation can take many forms, and may indeed be invisible to outsiders who are unaware of all the hidden nuances between partners. In this case the victim can quite easily be painted as the abuser. This is a very frustrating situation to be in. I've experienced it several times myself, firstly with my mother. I find time tends to out all truth.
How do you respond to being away from your partner for any length of time? I guess if you were the abuser these patterns would continue with other people. If you were the victim I think you'd start to feel better after spending time away from your partner.
Q
poster:Quintal
thread:783008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/785545.html