Posted by Reggie BoStar on December 10, 2006, at 18:28:28
I haven't had a relationship since the last one ended in total emotional disaster in 1983. At first I found it impossible to go near anyone no matter how hard I tried, then in later years I just stopped trying. Now I'm in my late 50's and will probably stay this way the rest of my life (if the last 23 yrs are any indication) and from what I see going on around me, I'm actually not too bad off. Occasionally loneliness can be pretty intense, but nothing like the trauma of lost relationships or the constant stress of being in one.
Still, it would be interesting to compare notes with others who live the way I do - to discuss how we manage, thoughts on how we became this way and why we'd rather not change, how we think we compare to people in relationships these days, etc.
Another reason I wanted to start this thread is that despite a lot of searching in forums like this one, I've never seen a thread dealing with the lives of people who have decided, for one reason or another, to go it alone. In fact this board was the closest I could come to the appropriate category, even though this is a sort of "non-relationship" topic.
And trust me, I understand the pain of a recently ended relationship, and the determination of someone in that situation to keep trying to salvage the old one or start a new one. Been there many times, done that many times. And I know what it's like to not be able to imagine a life without a relationship. I've been there, too.
The folks I'd like to hear from in this thread are the ones on the other side, who have been through all that and for personal reasons are staying alone. Because I've never seen a thread like that, I'm really curious about what other people in my situation have to say.
And of course, best wishes to those in relationships and who want that as their lifestyle. I respect everyone's choice either way, and it's certainly not my place to suggest anything negative about relationships in general and the people in them. They're just negative for me, and I don't want that kind of life for myself.
Sorry to be so long-winded. Economy of words is not my string suit. To Dr. Bob, I hope this doesn't compromise the forum category....
Take care everyone,
Reggie BoStar
poster:Reggie BoStar
thread:712251
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/712251.html