Posted by Estella on May 14, 2006, at 2:08:52
In reply to Re: Difficult to construe?, posted by jonquiljo on May 14, 2006, at 0:48:25
> Actually, no -Estella. I was referring to the "myriad" of functional problem in life such as toilets breaking, bank balances, really simple stuff. Are you perhaps mad at me?
no. i'm not mad at you at all.
really.i guess i'm thinking...
that for women (in particular)...
later in life is meant to be when they find sex most fulfilling / satisfying.so i was thinking about what might be going on.
not re assigning blame or anything like that... just trying to figure what is going on...
i don't know a whole heap about the topic...
sorry if i hurt / offended.
i just meant that if you argue about stuff then that isn't so conducive to wanting to be intimate... at least it isn't for me... though sometimes a good argument can help clear the air... sometimes not.
i don't know...
just sounds to me like you really care about her
and would like more intimacy
and i would think that that is something that people do need to work on.
i mean there is this idea that things like that don't take work they should just happen...
but i think the reality is that these things take work.and intimacy... i guess sex is the ultimate expression of intimacy. but there are other ways of being intimate. and sometimes... if you build on those other ways of being intimate... then sex is something that happens a bit more.
i've read some stuff on sex therapy.
where that wasn't really happening in the marriage / relationship and they wanted to be happier / more intimate...there... i guess they needed to talk about it before making a joint decision to do the retreat...
sometimes the problem was that the lady didn't like sex. and so she was fairly half hearted about whether she really wanted that... but it was more about intimacy and stuff.
and there were things they did (homework exercises)
and stuff like that...and the rates of improvement (in the next couple weeks months years) were amazing.
i'm just saying that i think a fair few people don't feel as happy with their sex lives as they would like to be (and there are a lot of guys who are married / in a committed relationship and they aren't getting as much as they would like / any...) and... it probably isn't talked about as much as it should be ('cause people feel embarrassed i guess)
but i don't think there is anything to feel embarrassed ashamed about. i think it is good to talk about it. and also... i think a lot of people have similar problems... and... i think that typically... there is a lot that can be done towards improving the situation.
but it can be jolly hard to figure what to do...
poster:Estella
thread:641864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060511/msgs/643754.html