Posted by Daisym on January 25, 2006, at 5:24:58
In reply to ((((((((Daisy)))))))))) » antigua, posted by gardenergirl on January 25, 2006, at 1:16:34
I think I seriously know what the term "gaslighted" means...tonight he acted like he has been waiting for ME to stop being mad at him. He didn't want to talk about the whole thing -- "we'll just fight again, and I'm over it..." and that was that. I asked him if it had bothered him at all over the past two days and he said he had been too busy at work to think about it.
So I spend three days destroyed and trying to figure out what to do next and he's --what?-- confident that everything will just go back to the way it always is?
He fell asleep in the chair until almost midnight. I worked in the office. He came in, told me I work too much, told me he'd be in bed naked and that I needed to come "make it up to him." I didn't go in right away and he yelled for me -- asked if I was going to pout and be b*tchy about the whole thing. "Do you really want to start this up again?"
No...so I let him hold me and tell me that he missed me the past two days, (what?! I thought you didn't think about it) and that he hates having to get mad at me. He said he knows I love him and that I should know he loves me no matter what else he says. I felt like a trapped child -- but I knew this would happen, having to Choose between more anger or unwanted sex; I chose the sex.
Now it is 3am and I'm sitting at the bottom of a deep dark hole. There are things that have to be done tomorrow but after that...
What is the rule? If you have a plan, motivation and enough energy to carry out your plan, are you suppose to stop yourself with rational talk or tell someone or what?
Sorry -- feeling morose and tired but no sleep. This isn't the checking in post I thought I was going to write. I should delete but I think I want someone, somewhere in the Universe to know how awful I feel.
Even prayer escapes me tonight. Has even God given up on me?
poster:Daisym
thread:601987
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/602572.html