Posted by Mal on October 11, 2005, at 16:08:50
In reply to Re: what women want » Mal, posted by fairywings on October 10, 2005, at 22:52:06
Hey, good to hear from you, FW...
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> I agree with Tamar, having some time with your husband is a priority, and with 2 kids it'll be that much harder. My ex-t, who was CBT, said that just a 20 min. walk after dinner every night was a great thing to do (any chance you could run with him?), but he encouraged me to find time to go out with my dh. We have 4 kids, so I understand how hard it can be. We have, and it's made a big difference, but getting the attention you want and the kind of attention you want seems to be as big a problem.
>Thanks, FW, seems like you understand. DH isn't really avoiding sex, exactly. THings have gotten A LOT better since this thread started. :) hehe
Wow. 4 kids would take a LOT of energy! I know we need to get some US time... I am getting more ME time than before. I have made some friends here, and we do stuff once or twice a month without the kids, but that still isn't time with DH... I think part of it is that now that I am not working, I feel like my DD is my job, and that leaving her is shirking my responsibility. And I figure that is what he's thinking too. We do have a good relationship, but sometimes, just for a couple of days, we get snippy. And that usually coincides with when my sexual appetite is not quite getting satiated...
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> Is it possible that he sees another child as a threat if he's not happy in his job? Like, if you had another he'd HAVE to stay there?Yes, this is very possible. He is very much into planning for the future, and I certainly don't want to make him feel resentful toward me.
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> Will he open up to you? Can you tell him how you feel, and see if he feels pressure at work? Can you see if there's some reason he's avoiding sex? Maybe ask him how he feels about another child and when. (but don't connect the sex questions with the more kids questions if there's any possibity he's avoiding it so you won't get pregnant.)
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He wasn't EXACTLY avoiding sex- just not as much as I'd like, and sometimes it's the kind you can't get pregnant from. I am sure he's trying to reduce the probability of getting pregnant.Hope you are having a great week...
MAL
PS- FW, what was your previous name? I think I was more familiar with your previous identity but can't remember it now...
poster:Mal
thread:563796
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051002/msgs/565734.html