Posted by fairywings on September 14, 2005, at 9:46:20
In reply to My husband was going to have an affair...., posted by LadyBug on September 14, 2005, at 0:02:05
Hi ladybug,
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm glad you had the presence of mind to respond to the email, keep the phone, and tell the woman what the affair was doing to your lives. I know how devastated you are right now, but try not to give up on the marriage, at least not now why you are so hurt. Will your husband go to marriage counseling? If you can get into counseling, and try to work through this, then maybe your marriage will be stronger, esp. if he is truly remorseful for what he's done.
First and foremost though, I'd think that he should NOT be working with that woman, or ever seeing her for any reason, or ever communicating with her. If he is her boss, he should mover her elsewhere or let her go. Most companies have policies where affairs between bosses and subordinates are not allowed and one has to leave. There would be no good reason for them to come face to face every day. Of course she could sue for sexual harrassment, so maybe moving her would be better, i don't know.
The other thing I think is that people often get caught up in the excitment of an affair without ever considering the ramifications. Sounds stupid, but people just don't think sometimes. I'm not excusing what they did, not at all, there is not excuse. But people sometimes just don't stop to consider that the feelings are fleeting, and that for that fleeting feeling they might be giving up what has taken 20 years to build, and in the process destroy your life, and the lives of your children.
(((hugs)))
fw
poster:fairywings
thread:554896
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050814/msgs/554961.html