Posted by Michael_M on September 30, 2004, at 16:59:24
In reply to Re: Living in the basement » Michael_M, posted by partlycloudy on September 30, 2004, at 14:49:45
[snip]
> What does your head tell you is the right thing to do? Listen to your head, and your heart will follow.
> pcI'm sorry, pc, but I don't know what that means! Honest. Ten minutes ago I was sitting here thinking there is NO WAY I could go through with a divorce. The pain of divorcing wasn't worth the potential for happiness on the other end.
Now, after only 10 or 15 minutes, I've changed my mind and I'm wondering why I put up with the anger, yelling, belittling, etc.How does one come to a decision like this? Do I just continue to wait until I either fall apart completely or my wife "gets over" her anger?
I've been reading a lot of old posts, and it seems to me that what people write is that they suffered through a great deal before somehow coming to a decision that enough was enough. People seem to stay in marriages years after the love dies, years after the affection dissappears, even years after the abuse starts. Long after people realize that there is no hope for improving their marriage, they continue to stay together. At least this is what I've been reading.
I'm amazed by this. It's got me thinking that what I really want is for someone to tell me to go ahead and get a divorce. Even if it's just an anonymous poster, I just need some reinforcement.
Just curious... has anyone ever initiated a divorce and later regretted it -- after further reflection thought they should have tried to patch things up just one more time?
poster:Michael_M
thread:396925
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/397379.html