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Living in the basement

Posted by Michael_M on September 29, 2004, at 16:20:40

I've been stuck in an unhappy marriage for years but I can't get out. We have a great 5 year old daughter who I can't bear to leave. I'm also very afraid of ending up alone and lonely in some empty room somewhere.

I tried to walk out once about a month ago but came crawling back after only 3 days. Even the thought of divorce cripples me with fear and anxiety, though I know it would be a relief if I could find a way to go through with it. One moment I'm convinced it is the only option, 3 hours later I'm convinced I'm just not up to it.

We've had 3 "interventions" with counselors, one lasting 7 months. None helped. Now the tension between us is just unbearable. I've been seeing an analyst who's advising me to keep communicating with my wife and eventually we'll either work things out or mutually decide to split. Whenever my wife and I attempt a serious discussion I feel like I'm climbing a mountain. It's exhausting and painful. I can't continue waiting for "eventually."

How does one finally decide to end a marriage? One part of me thinks it's crazy to even think about leaving my wife and daughter. On the other hand, I think three years of unhappiness is enough and it's time to act.

Did I mention I don't like lawyers?


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Psycho-Babble Relationships | Framed

poster:Michael_M thread:396925
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/396925.html