Posted by saw on September 30, 2004, at 2:13:34
In reply to Re: Living in the basement, posted by Susan47 on September 29, 2004, at 21:42:33
I was desperately unhappy in my previous marriage. Not because I didn't love my ex husband though. I worshipped him. But he abused me physically and mentally and sold most of our household to support his drug habits. My baby was six months old when my head met up with my heart and I knew that there was no living way I could save him, the situation, or our marriage. So I asked him to leave. I don't drive and could not support myself completely but am very fortunate to have a wonderful mother who gave up her home to live with me and my son. Separating and the subsequent divorce were without a doubt the most traumatic experience of my life and led to my first breakdown. It took a long time to fall out of love with him. Now I fear him and hate him even though when he left that day almost 7 years ago, it was the last time I saw him. The guilt that I was such a fool still lingers.
Divorce, whether you love your spouse or not, is truly traumatic so it is totally understable that you are feeling so much fear. I used to beseech people for advice, knowing that only I could make the decision alone. And that yes, it was going to hurt. I will never forget being told that my head knew what to do but that my heart would not allow it and that when my head and heart met, the right choices would be made.
I wish you strength in whatever you decide to do.
Sabrina
poster:saw
thread:396925
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/397128.html