Posted by Daisym on May 13, 2009, at 20:29:00
In reply to Re: Is this the end of therapy? Long » Daisym, posted by twilight on May 13, 2009, at 7:59:19
Thank you for all your replies. I read them all several times and heard the message about not quitting loud and clear. And I really tried to ask myself if I was resisting moving into a new phase. It also helped to think about his part in this and not make it all my fault. Wise words from all of you.I did go today and told him where I was with all of this. I told him I felt really stuck - knowing he wanted me to talk yet not wanting to appear stuck on the abuse stories or using them to elicit sympathy. He said he hadn't realized that I was hanging on to that - that he thought he'd made himself clear that he did not secretly think I was manipulative in anyway. But he also wanted to know that if this was now a question in my mind (was I really doing that unconsciously?) why wouldn't I talk about it with him? I said I couldn't - it was too scary and too painful - and about the present and not the past. So something in my control, something I was responsible for...and how disappointed would he be in me if it were true?
He was clear that he didn't want me to quit therapy. He mentioned working through some hard stuff and hurt feelings before and he kept saying that he had faith we could work through this. Near the end of the session he said, "I was hoping that by talking more about it today that we could end in a better place. I feel like we are in a worse place and I'm sorry for that. But I'm not giving up - we must struggle through this. After all we've been through - this happens in close relationships." We spent the last 10 minutes on something else - I think we were both exhausted and aware that we weren't getting anywhere, that enough had been said and now I needed some time to let the hurt ease off. I think he was a bit shocked that I was having such a strong reaction.
Thank you all for being there for me. Therapy is too hard to do alone, don't you think?
poster:Daisym
thread:895460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/895645.html