Posted by Daisym on May 15, 2009, at 1:57:01
In reply to Re: How It Went » Daisym, posted by Dinah on May 14, 2009, at 9:26:27
Ok, I'm only agreeing to a next stage if someone can tell me what it is and how it works and what I will feel - what are the $%#! rules for this stage?! (rant over)
You mentioning young Daisy wanting reassurance niggled a memory for me. Tonight I found this - I'd written about this session three weeks ago:
{Today I had one of those amazing connection sessions. We were talking about a time when I was really hurt when I was 9/almost 10. It was just before Christmas and I was so traumatized that I essentially crawled in my bed and refused to come out for like a month. I described what it felt like - hiding in all the whiteness (the sheets) from the world. (My therapist) said, "where was your mom?" I tried to explain that she was working and probably frustrated with me because I couldn't talk to her and I wouldn't let her touch me. He said she should have tried harder. She left me alone - alone in all the white space and he said he wouldn't have done that. He would have tried to find out what was wrong. But even if he couldn't, he wouldn't have left me alone. I started to cry and time was up. He said, "I wish you didn't have to go right now, there is so much here. Would you like to stay a few more minutes?" I said, "why? what will you do?" He said, "I'll just be with you. We'll just sit together so you don't have to be alone." So I stayed a few minutes - I felt special. And I felt calmer. He was so gentle and so *there* - you know?}
I'm a little shocked at the similarities that I played out with him this week - how is it that we can set up these unconscious reenactments and then snare our therapists into them? As someone said, he has been distracted a bit with his own stuff. If I'm brave enough, I should take this in. But instead of being with me in the "white space" this week, he got frustrated. So what is the message here?
Is it that I let him too close? Or is it working hard to undo that which can not be undone?
Thanks for making me think Dinah.
poster:Daisym
thread:895460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/895884.html