Posted by TherapyGirl on April 17, 2009, at 19:55:32
In reply to Re: Too much pain **Trigger** » TherapyGirl, posted by SLS on April 17, 2009, at 7:41:18
<<You might want to ask your therapist just exactly how you are to get through this inevitable loss. It is insufficient to just say "you'll get through it" without suggesting how to go about it.>>
We think alike, Scott. I actually said to her last night, "You don't seem to have a plan. *I* have a plan, but you don't like it and you're not helping me come up with an alternate plan."
She jumped on that and said, "Well, let's come up with an alternative." But that's all she said, other than some abstract thing about me internalizing her. It's really not helpful. If I haven't done that sufficiently now, after 24 years, I'm thinking it's not going to happen in the next 7 or 8 months.
Frankly, she can't win here. There is nothing she can say other than, "I won't leave you" that will make this okay for me and she won't say that. It's frustrating as hell. I have no idea why I'm even still going except, as usual, I can't be the one who leaves. Ever. No matter what. Abuse me (other people, not T), abandon me, whatever. I don't leave. It's sick, isn't it?
And, oh yeah, I'm not going to another T. I just don't have it in me to do this again. I really don't.
I do appreciate your support, Scott, and I continue to know that you are a total sweetheart. Thanks for being here in this horrible place with me.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:891135
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/891302.html