Posted by TherapyGirl on April 17, 2009, at 19:49:33
In reply to Re: Too much pain **Trigger**, posted by Dinah on April 16, 2009, at 21:46:44
As usual, Dinah, you nailed it. WHY in the heck would I want to make it through this if all I see is pain and all I can hope for afterwards is some kind of numbness?
I do want to clarify that she will have some contact with me. Obviously more limited than what I pictured before I knew she was moving across the state. But I will be able to talk to her on the phone and see her I don't know how often. On this, we can't seem to agree either.
It's just not enough. She is trying to understand. She said something last night about me thinking that I can't survive without her. It's really not that -- it's that I'm really just done with all the pain. She predictably mentioned that I'm not the only one on the planet with pain and a hard life (she put it slightly more diplomatically than that). I've never claimed to be. I'm not making this decision for anyone but myself and I'm saying I'm done. I just can't see my way through this and I don't want to. She says, "That's your choice." I feel like giving her a high five and saying, "EXACTLY. That's what I've been telling you." But she says it with lots of disppointment in her voice.
And that's a whole other issue -- somehow she seems to feel like a failure if I'm suicidal. So how can I talk to her about any of this, really? We have completely different agendas here.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:891135
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/891297.html