Posted by TherapyGirl on April 16, 2009, at 20:33:50
Another hard session tonight. She finally really talked about her leaving me. I told her I was angry that we've wasted all these months not talking about it. She tried to say it was because I hadn't brought it up, but I reminded her of our conversation in November where SHE agreed to be the one to bring it up. Then she said I haven't been in any shape to deal with it until now. I told her she wasn't going to delay her retirement because I was depressed, right? She agreed.
At any rate, it's still impossible to talk about. All I do is cry and say I can't do it. I can't lose her. She says of course I can do it; that it just seems so bad because of the depression. I say it has always felt just this bad.
And there's no one in real life to really talk to about it except for her. And where does that leave me when she's gone? It's like a death no one acknowledges.
I hate this. I really, really hate this. And it is never going to be okay for her to leave me.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:891135
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/891135.html