Posted by vwoolf on December 22, 2008, at 9:18:21
In reply to Re: Gifts » vwoolf, posted by sassyfrancesca on December 22, 2008, at 8:46:31
And took in my post. She apologised, said she was really pained that I had felt like this. She said she hadn't been aware that I had brought the cake for an anniversary, although I am sure I told her that day - I can remember explaining the details. She said that her training, psychoanalytic, had taught her never to accept gifts, and her policy is still not to, even though she has shifted from her original stance in many other ways. She said that if I hadn't baked a cake since then, it was my choice, not because of what she did. That she thought that cutting the cake in two and giving me my half back was sharing.
I feel confused. I still don't understand. She reminded me of how as a child during terrible times of abuse and neglect I had used to come home from school and bake a cake and eat it all by myself, trying to fill the emptiness inside me. And her telling me that she remembered that made it all the worse that she had refused to share the cake with me. And I cried in therapy. And it's not over yet.
Thank you for all your replies - I will answer each of you individually, but right now I am still upset. I just don't understand how she could be so cruel when she knew what it was like for me in the past.
poster:vwoolf
thread:869968
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/870244.html