Posted by Wittgensteinz on December 21, 2008, at 4:40:38
In reply to Gifts, posted by vwoolf on December 21, 2008, at 0:29:27
Vwoolf,
I'm sorry this happened - I would have been very hurt too. I guess you just won't know why exactly she handled it that way - it could be that something very personal about her crept in and took over in her decision to take her half to the staff kitchen - some food allergy, intolerance, diabetes... or a phobia of eating in front of others, or simply her principles about accepting gifts - who knows? I hope you have the courage one day to tell her about it.
It made me sad to think that you have never ever baked since - that it had such an impact on you, that that activity is forever tainted, spoiled.
I've given my T gifts - twice I've brought him flowers (he always has a big bunch of flowers in a vase in his room), once I made him a painting and earlier this month (December 5th - St. Nicolas Day, which we celebrate in the Netherlands), I gave him a box of chocolates and a CD (just a copy I made). I painted the top of the box with a landscape of places that had played some role in my past. He didn't ever ask about the painting - simply whether I'd made it myself, so I kind of took it that he wasn't that impressed by it, but that's just me and my reactions.
I was nervous giving him chocolates because I thought he might refuse (actually I had the strange thought he'd be scared I was trying to poison him or something!) - but he opened the box and we each chose a chocolate - it was very nice to share in that way, and I can see how good a symbol that cake would have been for you and your T to share.
My advice would be to tell her - you never know, she might somehow make the incident feel less painful - maybe you might even feel able to bake again.
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:869968
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/869988.html