Posted by muffled on December 4, 2008, at 23:44:53
In reply to **Triggering** weekend...., posted by B2chica on December 4, 2008, at 8:23:46
> we had house guests sat night. i wasn't feeling well (emotionally) so i went to bed early my DH stayed up and drank with them.
> he came to bed crawled in and started caressing me, i woke up and saw it was 2:50am. he wouldn't stop, i kept saying no as gently as i could and i'd move but he wouldn't stop. i switched to teen, but instead of being angry like she usually is, i froze up (like i did with the HS incident), i could barely talk, (i) was scared he was going to r@pe me....*mebbe the alcohol was a trigger, had the guy that r*ped you been drinking?
Ya, when I used to freeze up, my H just eventually back off.
I hit him once, and he weren't happy attall bout THAT.> but i couldn't get that out of (my) head. teen was down to a whisper, i kept pushing him off, he would stop but then if my leg accidentally touched his he'd start up again. Finally he stopped. but i was up for the next hour and 1/2. (4:30) i finally got to sleep.
*see now something like that would set me off for DAYS.
> ************************
but i started to dissociate again.
> because i started awake dreaming while i was in bed> i lost it, i totally dissociated to teen and ran into the > was out of it yesterday.
> kind of ok today, but emotionally all over the place.*see, thats what I talking about, if I been triggered bad, it takes quite awhile to get back down. I am super triggery for many days.
> the worst part is i have something else to talk to my T about that's important and i know if i talk about this i wont have time to talk about the other and it's a little more pressing.*sigh, there just never enuf time at T for it all is there?
Guess you gonna have to pick your priority. Talk bout whats most pressing.
It may be that you were already prime to be triggered by the other pressing thing, before the H trigger.
I dunno, the H trigger and other resulting responses do not seem strange to me. Not at all. I might be more curious as to why you were emotional in the first place and went to bed instead of visiting. But as for being triggered by H and the resulting internal riot, well, that just makes total sense to me, and hopefully it is calmer inside now.> so, i guess i had to tell someone. i've been wanting to post since tuesday, but i just couldn't. embarrassed maybe, ashamed maybe too.
*You got triggered. You did what you had to do to get thru it. I think you did GREAT! There's improvement in your coping as far as I am concerned.
You did the right things, you did ultimately keep yourself safe.
Thats GOOD. It could have been so much worse.
Your awareness of what was going on for you is amazing!
You are most definately making progress.
Which is scarey in of itself, at least I get scared when I progress alot.
But then I just think of my kids. I so want to be a good Mom for my kids.
I hope whatever your other pressing issue is can get some resolution.
Take care.
M
poster:muffled
thread:866613
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866770.html