Posted by Wittgensteinz on November 25, 2008, at 14:57:25
In reply to what he's like..., posted by twinleaf on November 25, 2008, at 9:34:19
My T is in his late 60s. He's a retired professor and has written quite a number of books on Freud, analysis, dreams, existentialism... in Holland he's well known - probably one of the most well known analysts. A while ago he had an interview on the radio and they announced him as the country's leading expert on Freud. Is that a good thing?! I only know this through things I have read about him - he is very humble and modest about himself. He doesn't have any certificates hanging on his walls and doesn't like to be referred to as Dr. or Prof.
So, he's about my height (5"7), slim build, spectacled, grey hair and not much of it - not really an imposing character. Gentle and soft in his movements and in the way he holds himself. His eyes are dark brown. He's not a fashion guru - he'll sometimes be wearing a tweed suit - other times he's wearing jeans and a pull-over. On occasion he's worn this terrible blue and brown shirt which I assume he got during a visit to Africa - I always have to stop myself giggling when I see it - it clashes so badly!
His room is packed full of books - mostly analytic books and in several different languages. He speaks quite a number of languages and often quotes things in Latin, French, German or Dutch. He's very well read, which I like. Besides all the books, he has a lot of interesting objects collected from his travels or presumably gifts from his patients. He has a lot of interesting paintings/drawings decorating the walls both in his room and in the hallway. One of my paintings hangs framed on his wall - I gave it to him a while ago as a gift and to my surprise he had it framed. He also has a desk with a computer and a typewriter! The back window looks out onto his garden. There are always fresh flowers in a vase in the middle of the room. The room has double-doors to make sure nothing can be heard from the hall. There are two red chairs orientated at 90o from one another - in theory it's possible to kick him from where I sit although I haven't yet felt the need to put that to the test! On the other side of the room is a real Freudian divan - in the same deep red upholstery. I've only tried lying down a couple of times but it was too soon or just not right - I might try it again one day.
As for his manner - he divulges some details of himself but he isn't overly forthcoming - he'll share something if he feels it will help me in some way. He listens extremely attentively and like others have described, he will adjust his body posture in reference to the intensity and subject matter of the session. Once or twice I've seen him mimicking my posture - perhaps a coincidence. He doesn't give lengthy verbal responses and doesn't overload me with questions - he's comfortable with my silences too. I like this approach.
He has a high opinion of me and my capabilities - it can feel good but it can also feel like too much at times - I don't want to disappoint him. He truly feels like an ally to me. He's not a cuddly bunny - we shake hands when meeting and departing but no hugs or anything like that. He is very quick to reply to mails or requests to see him for an extra session. If I wrote to him now for example, to ask to see him tomorrow, he'd most likely arrange it.
I've enjoyed discussing art and travel with him - two interests we share in common. He's lent me art books and he's read books of mine in order to help me. One time I was hungry during a session - my stomach was rumbling so he went and got me an apple and said something like "Freud did the same with the Wolf man"! I also recall a time when I admitted to trying cocaine once as a student and afterwards worrying how that revelation would change his view of me - again he said something to the effect of "well, Freud had his thing with that too, you know". When he heard I was in the hospital he came within the hour to see me and talk to the doctors there. He is very dedicated. Something I really like about him is the way he makes me feel equal to him - we can share things on an equal level. I respect him deeply but I don't feel he looks down on me. Perhaps this is because I know he also had a very difficult time of things when he was my age - perhaps some of the same struggles - he really knows how it is for me, in that respect. Diagnoses are not important to him - he sees me as me.
I came across his CV once - it had been accidentally published on-line (I wasn't intentionally 'spying' on him but happened across it while in search of his post code, which I needed for something). To my amazement he'd initially trained for the Catholic priesthood then at 25 or so abandoned that path altogether and later went to Paris, the Sorbonne to study psychology and started his analysis. He's no longer religious as far as I'm aware. I've not asked much on it - it wasn't supposed to have been on-line in the first place and he was grateful I told him so he could have it removed.
He's quite an active man - cycles a lot, goes for a long walk each Thursday, takes a swim each day in the summer in a local lake etc.
Overall, he's a very genuine, dedicated man and I'm fortunate to have him as my T.
Sorry this is too long - well it gives an impression of him.
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:865092
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865219.html