Posted by Wittgensteinz on October 30, 2008, at 18:51:32
In reply to Re: Rupture in therapy (long) » Wittgensteinz, posted by stellabystarlight on October 29, 2008, at 17:39:49
Stella,
I must apologise for somehow managing to overlook writing you a personal reply. Of course this matter is raw for you because of your recent rupture with you T. You sound strong and wise in the face of it but all the same it must have hurt you dearly to go through. I'm glad things are on the mend - I hope that continues. I hope something good can come from it or at least that your T learns and such similar ruptures are avoided in the future.
I would also like to invite you to share about what happened, if you would like to.
You absolutely didn't upset me with your post - this need to repair the trust is perhaps the biggest issue. If he 'reaches his limit' now then how do I know he won't in the next session or the next? The problem with the T relationship is that we become so entrenched in it - so attached to our T's that on the one hand they have a great potential to help us but on the other hand we become utterly vulnerable to them and their failings. When things go wrong, they can go terribly wrong, as in Twinleaf's case with her former analyst. I can't begin to imagine how that must have felt.
A couple of things strike me 1) that your T would speak with you for 2 hours on the phone. My T is especially cold on the phone. I only phone him if I really need to (or if my partner pressures me to, such was the case last Friday) plus I have a bit of a phone aversion. 2) that your T teared up - how moving and what a clear way to show his connection to you and his caring. I'm glad he can commend you on your ability to deal with the rupture. I think you deserve that.
I'm relieved you didn't take your T treats (keep them for yourself instead!) :) - and although I have a similar desire, I will not act upon it - maybe I will ceremoniously eat some chocolates myself after seeing T - there is a nice chocolate shop close by, where I sometimes stop for a hot chocolate. I might tell him of my desire though but maybe at a later point if if if.
Maybe my mentioning the day programme suggests otherwise, but I do really want to make things work with my T. Who knows, perhaps when he hears of the pdoc's suggestion he'll sink into his chair in a big sigh of relief!
Good luck with the continuing restoration work.
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:859655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/859975.html