Posted by rskontos on October 24, 2008, at 10:43:12
In reply to Re: I need a new me...., posted by onceupon on October 23, 2008, at 20:03:29
Yeah, it's because I'm too anxious that she'll ridicule me in some way (hello, childhood stuff), or think less of me, or think I'm crazy, etc., etc. I'm that way with most people though...
**This is something I really understand. Sometimes when I am trying to talk about stuff, I don't get it myself and this makes me anxious and then starts a cycle. You know where it is hard when it is stuff you find hard to understand or find the right words. Or it is stuff that is a distant or hazy memory which makes talking about hard although you might need to discuss it. I usually lapse into silence. Then the session seems to disintegrate into one that really what i wanted but one where he thinks I need to stop. But I don't but I don't also have the words to get it back on track. Sigh. Therapy sure is tough when your memories are not your own.
I actually wrote down below about not remembering what happens in sessions too...
**don't you hate this feeling. I do. I usually or have fallen apart after these sessions . And it often surprises me that he, my t, who has according to him, has had a lot of DD/DID patients and he forgets that I do this. oh well, he is retired maybe he forgets. I certainly understand not having memories of stuff. It is only his memories of all my life the stuff I have told him is so accurate considering he takes no notes.
And it isn't that I don't believe he doesn't have experience I feel like he does. I guess it is part of the treatment of DD. I have read up on how that works so I know he is doing the right thing it just sometimes feels wrong.
Again, I feel like I am not making sense.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:858781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/859085.html