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Just out of sorts, can't understand it

Posted by rskontos on October 20, 2008, at 12:46:49

Hi all,

Just decided after two sessions of therapy that have left me decidedly unsettled that i am out of sorts with no reason why. And yes I spoke to T about it. All I could say over and over again is I don't know. I cried on Wednesday or Tuesday out of the blue, I mean really cried. My DH and DS were really taken aback. DH made dinner and both cleaned up afterwards. A major happening! I told my T that I have better conversations in my head than with him in person. Why I don't know. I can't stop the damn chatter in my head except with xanax. Those damned voices. My dreams are disturbing. I just am melancholy. I feel like I am broke and will always be. I dissociated again and why I can't figure out. I forgot to tell him that. Well not true. I did think about it I just did not tell him. Why, I don't know. It is like I don't care to be involved in therapy. I feel distant from the whole damned world. I am feeling less. Numb. Like my emotions are either absent or they spill over and I cry. I want to watch tv to keep myself out of my head. Well I am sorry if you have read this far and now are depressed because of reading this dribble.

Maybe I just cannot commit to therapy. I think, and I almost told my T this, that he is wasting his time with me. i am a lost cause.

rsk

 

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poster:rskontos thread:858429
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858429.html