Posted by lucie lu on September 19, 2008, at 23:01:03
In reply to Re: Partners' feelings about your LT therapy? » lucie lu, posted by Dinah on September 19, 2008, at 22:16:54
Thanks for replying, Dinah. I have noticed from past posts of yours that there seemed to be a good working equilibrium between you, your husband, and your T. I am envious. My DH feels threatened and jealous of my relationship with my T. True, I do feel very close to my T as you probably know from my posts. But the problem is that a couple of years ago, my DH stumbled (sort of)upon some journal entries on my computer. I was in the throes of trying to sort out some pretty intense transference reactions, so you can imagine what he read and thought of that. I can sympathize and wish he had not read them. There's no way he can understand, having never had any real relationship with a T, how these relationships ebb and flow and always seem to be morphing into something else, and so do we. And although I know that I've changed over the years tremendously due to the therapy, and in ways that I think potentially increased the depth of our relationship, including physically - which used to be really an area of difficulty- he doesn't think it's more than what aging would normally do. (Never mind that the older I got, the crazier I got, without treatment.) That hurts, considering how much hard work therapy is. But now he gets obviously resentful even at the mention of therapy. I don't even like to acknowledge when I go, even though of course he knows my appt schedule. I feel caught because he would like me to quit and I don't feel at a place to quit. But it has been six years. It is expensive but fortunately we have pretty good insurance - we pay enough to feel it but are not living on bake sales. (My apologies to those here for whom money for therapy is a big problem - I have been there too in the past, I know how hard it is.) But I know I have been making a lot of important progress in being able to live in my own skin and putting to rest the many ghosts of my past. How can I continue that without therapy? Is that really self-absorption? I am confused and worried. It's really a source of pain and frustration for me and I don't know how things are going to turn out.
Sorry for the long reply. I just really needed to talk about it.
Thanks again, Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:853000
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/853027.html