Posted by Dinah on September 19, 2008, at 22:16:54
In reply to Partners' feelings about your LT therapy?, posted by lucie lu on September 19, 2008, at 19:35:24
He came in as I was reading your post, so I asked him. He declined to type his own answer. So any inaccuracies in my response are his fault.
I think he resents the money. He'd like me to quit my job, but I can't if I continue therapy. He's not jealous as a man. (Although I do once remember him saying he was a bit jealous.) He's aware that I don't care about my therapist in a sexual or romantic way. He worries a bit that he is part of the reason I need therapy.
He not only doesn't ask me to quit, but he does everything he can to support my going. Albeit with a few hints that I'm one step away from the mental hospital. He saw my strong hysterics that time we nearly moved out of town and away from my therapist. I think it scared him.
My therapy has helped my relationship. No doubts there. My therapist has met my husband a few times, and understands him sufficiently to be a help to me. Also, a couple of years ago, my therapist and I had a series of conversations that really really improved my physical relationship with my husband. My husband appreciates that.
He mentions sometimes that he doesn't understand what my therapist can do that he can't do, or wonders if he's the reason I need therapy. I remind him that it would be unfair of me to expect him to meet all of my needs. That he doesn't like to do the sort of emotional stuff I do with my therapist. He tends to get impatient, bored, and sometimes angry. And that I have a problem with a hyperaroused nervous system, and therapy helps keep that at a manageable level.
Overall, I'm sure he wishes I didn't go to therapy but that I acted as though I did.
poster:Dinah
thread:853000
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/853021.html