Posted by antigua3 on September 16, 2008, at 12:09:53
In reply to I cannot tell my T, posted by lucie lu on September 15, 2008, at 23:22:01
Baby steps. You have to take baby steps and just start with one thing. You don't have to spill everything at once (unless you're like me and a blurter!). I think you just need to get it all out, at whatever pace is comfortable for you.
Sex is huge. I didn't know how important it really was. I mean, I knew I didn't like/want to do certain things because they triggered me. You'd think I would have known better, but once I identified the triggers and what they brought forth, sex became easier, and I've learned to say No!
I recently divulged something about sex that was really important to me to my pdoc, who is male. While he says he wasn't judgmental, I still feel he was, which is my past speaking. I don't know, I wish I hadn't told him now, but it's out there now and I can't take it back. For me, it has to do w/trust, that my pdoc won't take this info and throw it back in my face. I'm not convinced yet that he won't. The reason I'm afraid is that I will think that it was my fault, which goes back to my SA experiences. I can say intellectually that I know it wasn't my fault, but I guess I don't feel it yet.
That said, my T and I discuss sex freely and sometimes in great detail. And I know she is understanding and kind, but... I still need to know that a man doesn't think I'm disgusting.
So baby steps. Just get it out so it doesn't have power over you anymore. It is funny that we come to a realization like you have and didn't really know it was there before.
best of luck,
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:852215
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852283.html