Posted by B2chica on April 22, 2008, at 12:24:07
i'm tired of having suicidal thoughts.
i've been up and fast for the last at least three weeks and this weekend i got sick and yesterday i stayed home from work and slept most of the day. last night i started getting negative. now all i can think of is how nothing in my life is how i wanted, none of my dreams will ever come true. i'm trapped where i don't want to be. nothing will ever change for me. and all i can think about is buying a gun on the streets.
i've dropped pretty fast.
and we're so broke (as i'm reminded every freaking day by my DH) that i will not go to the hospital again. that's just not an option.
...just tired.
dont know who else to tell.
it seems i have no one.
my T's been unavailable for the last two weeks and so much has happened that i don't feel i can even go back and talk about past stuff now. its over with. dealt with or not. its done. who cares.
i have no friends anymore. my DH never home, i have to take care of everything with no help after i come home from work and my measly pay just isn't enough anymore. im tearing up, cuz i feel like such a freaking failure.
a failure at everything i've ever tried.
poster:B2chica
thread:824788
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/824788.html