Posted by Dinah on April 23, 2008, at 12:01:50
In reply to tired of it...**S. TRIGGER**, posted by B2chica on April 22, 2008, at 12:24:07
You have a beautiful baby, so you can't be a failure at everything you've tried.
It sounds to me as if you're very angry. (Although I certainly could be wrong.) When I get very angry, I sometimes want to hurt myself. And not even because I think hurting myself will hurt others. I think I just turn it inwards. If you are feeling angry, maybe you could express it (in a legal and nondestructive way) to whoever you're angry with?
My son was really worried for a while about failure. And one day he sat down and asked me about all the possible things he could do to screw up his life, from failing a test up to and including failing to stop the world from being taken over by an alien invasion. I was surprised to find that I actually believed what I told him. That the worst that can happen is that life as you expect it to be might be over, but that life itself goes on. And that you can build new hopes and dreams and new expectations.
This from a person terrified of failure.
Don't you have dreams for your daughter? Dreams you'd like to help her achieve? Do you really want to leave her to the total care of your husband?
Even if you're feeling furious with or disappointed in your therapist, please give him or her a call. There may be meds to help you through the worst of this time of feeling so very very bad. And if your therapist can't help you build new dreams based on where you are right now, you can build them without your therapist's help.
But right now I can hear how very very bad you're feeling. And right now you need to find ways to hang on until you feel less bad. Risperdal helps me with that. Maybe there is something that can help you with it?
poster:Dinah
thread:824788
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/824961.html